The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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