We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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