Screwed.edu
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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