you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
