im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize