Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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