got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Couch. On fire.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
