Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
