I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
