at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
