anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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