ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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