my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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