the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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