I just made out with a guy for $7.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
