so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize