those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
