Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
