Ambien. No doubt about it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize