is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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