Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
