she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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