If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
