i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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