420 ftw
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
