Little spoons don't ask big questions
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
