I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this just has baby written all over it
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
NoShamevember. You game?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
