if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
