saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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