sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize