How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
and you fell through a lawn chair
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
