I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
