When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We got so high we made milksteak
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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