Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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