worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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