Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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