Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize