I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
