he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
