Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I CAN MOONWALK!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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