garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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