if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
