isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
