before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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