Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
