How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
