jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
