If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
