Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
