Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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