covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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