This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
