Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
