Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
