we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
MIDGETS
????
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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