fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
