Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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