I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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