i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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