You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
