But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
