her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
