i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All I want is dick and wine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
