So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize