No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
